by Trudy Shines | Jul 27, 2024 | Coach, Radiant Coach, Trauma Survivors
Thriving Trauma Survivors Embrace the Wisdom of Dan Gable
Embrace the Wisdom of Dan Gable
Dan Gable, an iconic figure in the wrestling world, once said, “There is no mat space for malcontents or dissenters. One must neither celebrate too insanely when he/she wins or sulk when he/she loses. He/she accepts victory professionally and humbly. He hates defeat but makes no profound display of it.”
Gable’s words echo a powerful message: true champions are defined not only by their victories but by their character and conduct. In the journey from surviving to thriving, this principle is a cornerstone.
Ego-Driven vs. Spirit-Driven
In life, we often encounter two types of individuals: the ego-driven and the spirit-driven.
The Ego-Driven
- Characteristics: These individuals are consumed by a need to win at any cost. Their actions are driven by pride and a desire to outshine others.
- Behavior: When they win, they celebrate excessively, seeking validation and recognition. When they lose, they sulk and display their frustration openly.
The Spirit-Driven
- Characteristics: Thriving individuals who act with integrity and humility. They focus on doing what is right, rather than seeking external validation.
- Behavior: They handle both victory and defeat with grace. Their celebrations are modest, and their losses are met with quiet resolve to improve.
The Path to Thriving
Thriving in life is not just about achieving success but about how we handle the highs and lows along the way. Here are some steps to cultivate a spirit-driven mindset:
- Practice Humility:
Celebrate your successes quietly. Acknowledge your achievements, but do not let them define you.- Learn from your failures without making a spectacle of them. Use them as stepping stones for growth.
- Focus on Integrity:
- Always choose to do what is right, even when it’s difficult. Integrity builds trust and respect.
- Make decisions based on your values and principles, not on the desire to win or be recognized.
- Develop Resilience:
- Accept that both success and failure are part of the journey. Resilience is built by learning to navigate both with grace.
- Use setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than as reasons to give up.
Change Your Conduct, Change Your Life
Your conduct shapes your character, and your character shapes your life. By embracing a spirit-driven approach, you pave the way for a more fulfilling and meaningful life. Remember, thriving is not just about reaching the destination; it’s about how you travel the journey.
Are you ready to transform your trauma into triumph? Embrace the wisdom of Dan Gable and learn how to thrive with grace, humility, and integrity. Discover the power of being spirit-driven and make a lasting change in your life. Join our community of resilient individuals who are turning their setbacks into comebacks. Read the full article now and start your journey to thriving today!
by Trudy Shines | Jul 25, 2024 | Coach, Trauma Survivors
Understanding and Healing from Abandonment Trauma Introduction Abandonment trauma can leave deep emotional scars, affecting one’s self-esteem and overall well-being. This article explores the impact of abandonment trauma, especially when it stems from parental neglect or cruelty, and offers insights into healing and rediscovering one’s innate worth. The Roots of Abandonment Trauma Abandonment trauma often originates in childhood, but it can persist and even intensify into adulthood. For many, the trauma is exacerbated by the continued neglect and cruelty. This ongoing mistreatment can manifest in various ways, including accusations, demeaning comments, and actions that further alienate and isolate the individual. In Pâs case, her father has gone as far as to disown her, and her mother rarely visits or communicates when in town. The Impact on Self-Esteem Despite a trauma survivors amazing energy of love and sensitivity, experiences with abandonment have severely affected his/her self-esteem. He/she has become adept at masking low self-worth, presenting a facade of confidence. However, this concealment is only t
emporary. Over time, the weight of past traumas and new triggers causes these suppressed emotions to resurface, leading to emotional breakdowns and a feeling of being overwhelmed. Recognizing the Signs It’s crucial to recognize the signs of abandonment trauma. These may include:
- Persistent Fear of Rejection: A constant worry that others will leave or abandon you.
- Difficulty Trusting Ot
hers: Struggling to build trusting relationships due to past betrayals.
- Self-Sabotage: Engaging in behaviors that undermine personal success or happiness.
- Emotional Outbursts: Periodic emotional breakdowns when past traumas are triggered.
- Low Self-Esteem: A pervasive senseof unworthiness or inadequacy, often masked by a false front of confidence.
Healing from Abandonment Trauma Healing from abandonment trauma is a journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and support. Here are some steps to begin the process:
- Acknowledge the Trauma
The first step is to acknowledge the trauma and its impact on your life. Denying or minimizing the pain only prolongs the healing process. Accepting the reality of your experiences is crucial for moving forward.
- Seek Professional Help
Working with a coach, therapist or counselor can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies. Therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) are effective for processing trauma.
- Build a Support Network
Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or support groups who understand and validate your experiences. Positive relationships can help counteract feelings of isolation and abandonment.
- Practice Self-Compassion
Be gentle with yourself. Understand that healing takes time and that setbacks are a normal part of the journey. Engage in self-care activities that nurture your mind, body, and spirit.
- Reframe Negative Beliefs
Challenge and reframe negative beliefs about yourself that stem from abandonment trauma. Replace self-critical thoughts with affirmations that acknowledge your worth and resilience.
- Establish Boundaries
Learn to set healthy boundaries with those who have caused you harm. Protecting your emotional well-being is essential, even if it means limiting or cutting off contact with toxic individuals. Moving Forward Abandonment trauma is a painful and challenging experience, but healing is possible. By acknowledging the trauma, seeking help, and practicing self-compassion, you can rebuild your self-esteem and rediscover your inherent worth. Remember, you are not defined by the actions of others, and your journey towards healing is a testament to your strength and resilience. If you’re ready to embark on your own transformative journey and reclaim your life, let’s take the first step together. Reach out to schedule your initial consultation and begin your personalized program. Together, we will navigate challenges to move your from surviving to thriving. You have the strength within youâlet’s unlock it and shine brightly on your path to healing and growth. Contact me today to get started! Conclusion Abandonment trauma, especially from parents, can leave deep emotional scars. However, with the right support and strategies, individuals can heal and thrive. Embracing the journey of healing and self-discovery is the first step towards reclaiming your life and building a future filled with love, joy, and self-worth. If you’re ready to embark on this transformative journey and reclaim your life, let’s take the first step together. Reach out to schedule your initial consultation and begin your personalized program. Together, we will navigate the challenges to move from surviving to thriving. You have the strength within youâlet’s unlock it and shine brightly on your path to healing and growth. Contact me today to get started!
by Trudy Shines | Jul 19, 2024 | Coach, Radiant Coach, Trauma Survivors
From Anxiety to Empowerment: A Coach’s Path to Supporting Trauma Survivors
Introduction
For much of my life, anxiety and worry were my constant companions. Growing up with a mother who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, I lived in perpetual fear that I would inherit her condition. Coupled with the trauma of childhood sexual abuse and the heavy responsibility of caring for my younger siblings, my early years were filled with immense stress and role reversals. Despite these challenges, I have transformed my experiences into valuable lessons that I now share as a Radiant Coach for trauma survivors.
My Personal Struggle with Anxiety
Until the age of 30, I was plagued by the fear that I would end up like my mother. This fear, combined with the traumatic experiences of my childhood, created a deep-seated anxiety that was difficult to overcome. My motherâs condition meant that, often, I had to take on adult responsibilities and care for my siblings, leading to a role reversal that added to my emotional burden.
Reading articles on sexual abuse and understanding the feelings of guilt and hatred associated with it was a turning point for me. Through this learning, I was able to let go of the hatred and guilt that had consumed me, and I began to truly live. However, my journey to overcoming anxiety didnât stop there. It was only the beginning of a long process of healing and self-discovery.
The Impact of Chronic Illness
During puberty, I began suffering from a painful chronic illness called boils, which was later correctly diagnosed as Hidradenitis Suppurativa (HS). Initially treated with antibiotics, the treatment depleted my immune system, exacerbating my anxiety. This physical ailment added another layer of stress to my already burdened life. However, through reading and adopting a holistic way of life, including organic living, consuming lots of fruits and vegetables, and engaging in regular sweaty workouts, I managed to heal significantly. While HS will never completely go away, it has subsided, allowing me to focus more on my mental and emotional well-being.
The Importance of Challenging Beliefs
One of the most powerful tools I have learned and now teach as a Radiant Coach is the practice of challenging beliefs. This was not something I was taught as a child, but it has become a cornerstone of my approach to managing anxiety and worry. My coaches introduced me to this transformative practice, which has been instrumental in my healing process.
What is Challenging Beliefs?
Challenging beliefs involves questioning the validity of the thoughts and assumptions that fuel our anxiety. Often, we accept these thoughts as truths without examining their basis. By scrutinizing these beliefs, we can identify those that are irrational or unhelpful and replace them with more balanced and realistic ones.
How to Challenge Beliefs
- Identify the Belief: Start by identifying the specific thought or belief that is causing anxiety. For example, I often worried that I would develop schizophrenia like my mother.
- Examine the Evidence: Look at the evidence for and against this belief. Is there concrete evidence that supports it? In my case, I realized that while genetics play a role, environmental factors and personal experiences are also significant.
- Consider Alternatives: Think about alternative explanations or perspectives. Could there be another way to view the situation? I began to see that my motherâs condition did not define my fate and that I had the power to shape my own life.
- Test the Belief: Experiment with thinking differently. Replace the irrational belief with a more balanced thought and observe the impact on your anxiety. I started to tell myself, âI am not my mother, and I have control over my mental health,â which significantly reduced my worry.
Moving Forward with Confidence
My journey from a life dominated by anxiety and worry to one of confidence and resilience has not been easy. It has required a conscious effort to challenge and change my beliefs, but the rewards have been immense. Not only have I found peace and stability, but I have also turned my experiences into a source of strength and inspiration for others.
As a Radiant Coach, I now help others navigate their own journeys through trauma, stress, and anxiety. I share my story to show that it is possible to overcome even the most daunting challenges and to live a life filled with joy and purpose.
Conclusion
Anxiety and worry may have been my companions for much of my life, but they no longer define me. By challenging my beliefs and learning to let go of guilt and hatred, I have reclaimed my life and now guide others to do the same. If you are struggling with anxiety, remember that you have the power to change your thoughts and, ultimately, your life. It is never too late to begin living fully and radiantly.
by Trudy Shines | Jul 17, 2024 | Coach, Radiant Coach, Spiral Journey of Success, Trauma Survivors, Uncategorized
Lulu Magee Stroud (1882 – 1953), My great grandmother, was a woman of Creek Nation Native American ancestry, blended with Scandinavian and African lineage.
What is Trauma?
Trauma is a word we often hear, but do we truly understand its depth and complexity? From its Greek origins meaning “wound” to its profound impact on our lives, trauma shapes our experiences in ways both visible and unseen. But what exactly is trauma? Where does it come from, and why do we experience it? Can it be prevented, and is it always detrimental?
 In this exploration of trauma, we’ll delve into these questions and more. We’ll examine how trauma affects us psychologically and physically and discuss strategies for moving beyond mere survival to a state of thriving. As your Radiant Coach, I believe in the power of transforming traumatic experiences into catalysts for growth and positive change.
Join me as we unpack the concept of trauma, investigate its various forms, and discover pathways to healing. We’ll explore how acknowledging our past can empower our future, and how sharing our experiences can light the way for others. Whether you’re a trauma survivor, a supporter, or simply seeking to understand, this journey from surviving to thriving is one we can embark on together.
Understanding Trauma
Definition and Forms of Trauma
Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event such as an accident, crime, natural disaster, physical or emotional abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence. The term “trauma” originates from the Greek word for “wound,” emphasizing its impact on both mind and body. Trauma can be categorized into three main types:
 1.  Acute Trauma: Results from a single incident, such as a car accident or natural disaster.
2.  Chronic Trauma: Involves repeated and prolonged exposure to highly stressful events, such as ongoing abuse or domestic violence.
3.  Complex Trauma: Exposure to multiple traumatic events, often of an interpersonal nature, like childhood abuse.
The effects of trauma can be long-lasting, influencing our mental health, behavior, and overall well-being.
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Psychological Effects: Trauma can lead to anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), flashbacks, and other mental health issues.
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Physical Effects: Chronic pain, headaches, digestive issues, sleep problems, and other physical symptoms can manifest as a result of trauma.
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Behavioral Changes: Substance abuse, self-harm, and avoidance behaviors.
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Cognitive Impacts: Memory issues, difficulty concentrating, and negative self-perception.
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Statistics and Quotes: According to the National Center for PTSD, about 60% of men and 50% of women experience at least one trauma in their lives. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a leading expert in trauma research, states, “Trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body.”
The Path to Healing
The Concept and The Significance
Healing from trauma is a deeply personal and often non-linear journey. It involves moving from a state of merely surviving to thriving, where individuals use their experiences to grow and help others. See my article on The Spiral Journey to Success https://trudyshines.com/2024/06/3143/
Personal Stories
Real-life stories of trauma survivors can provide hope and inspiration. For instance, Shan, who was hit by a car and had a 6% chance of survival, celebrated her recovery with a ‘Stayinâ Alive’ party, demonstrating resilience and the power of community support.
Support Systems
Support systems play a crucial role in the healing process. Connecting with others, whether through support groups or trusted friends and family, can provide emotional support and practical advice.
Strategies for Healing
Actionable Strategies
1.  Acknowledge the Event: Accepting and acknowledging the traumatic event is the first step towards healing.
2.  Accept Support: Seek and accept support from loved ones and professionals (if I canât help, I have a network of people that I can refer you to).
3.  Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote physical and emotional well-being, such as exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep (see AJ DeDeaux â your sleep expert.
4.  Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: My energy practices help you work at these techniques one day at a time â they will help you manage anxiety and flashbacks by focusing on the present moment.
Mindfulness Practices
Trauma-informed mindfulness practices are adapted to the unique needs of trauma survivors. These practices help you manage your symptoms and helps you feel safer in your bodies (you have many hats/personalities/bodies that continue to guide you â use them).
Importance of Self-Care Routines
 Self-care routines self-care and self-love is not selfish and is essential for recovery. Activities like journaling, meditation, and engaging in hobbies can help individuals reconnect with themselves and their surroundings.
Developing a Positive Mindset
Developing a positive mindset involves focusing on you and believing and know that you have personal strengths â you wouldnât be here today if you didnât; they helping you set achievable goals. This helps you regain your sense of control and purpose in your life.
The Role of Professional Support
Professional support can be a cornerstone in the journey to healing from trauma.
Benefits of Professional Support
Professional support, such as therapy, can provide structured and effective ways to manage trauma. Therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) are particularly effective.
Testimonials from Clients
Hearing from clients who have benefited from professional support can offer hope and encouragement.
Many clients have shared positive experiences with professional support. For example, David, who suffered a traumatic brain injury, successfully returned to work as an IT security consultant after receiving extensive therapy.
Overview of My Services
As a Radiant Coach, I offer personalized coaching sessions, workshops, and resources designed to support trauma survivors in their journey from surviving to thriving.
Conclusion
Understanding trauma and its effects is the first step towards healing. By understanding trauma, seeking support, and engaging in self-care practices, survivors can not only heal but potentially experience growth and transformation.
Trauma is a complex and deeply personal experience, but recovery is possible.
If you’re struggling with the effects of trauma, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional helpâyou don’t have to face this alone.
Ready to start your journey from surviving to thriving? Contact me for a free consultation and let’s begin your path to healing together. Take the first step towards healing and thriving.
